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[ Blue Man's "Frequently"
Asked Questions ]
- So... Why “Blue Man Sings The Whites”?
Well, at the moment it’s only my family
and friends who have to suffer when I let rip with my ill-considered,
horrendously prejudiced knee-jerk opinions. I thought it’d be a nice idea to
spread the misery. Plus, the site provides a handy home for various bits of
writing that would otherwise be hostage to the whims of cackling power-crazed
messageboard administrators with horrible taste in shirts.
No, there's not a story attached to that comment. What would
make you think that?
...
- No, I Mean The Title. Why “Blue Man
Sings The Whites”?
Oh, right, sorry.
As with so much else in my writing, it’s
a homage that's intended to appeal to roughly no-one but me. In this case, it's a
rip-off of/reference to the incomparable Vivian Stanshall and the incomprehensible
Bonzo
Dog Doo-Dah Band (best known for their greatest hit, I'm The Urban
Spaceman, and second-best known for being the day-job of Neil "Brave, Brave
Sir Robin Boldly Ran Away" Innes)...
"Can blue men sing the whites,
Or are they hypocrites
For going "wah, wah, wah"?”
The title just seemed to fit like a glove, since I'm
extraordinarily blue, in several different senses of the word, the whitest man on the planet, and most of my writing seems to be
some form of "going wah wah wah..."
Um... and I don't mean that I'm extremely white in any, you
know, Aryan Superman sense. It's more... look. Every time there was a white
guest character on, say, The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, they all seemed to share
certain traits. According to that programme, every white guy on the
planet is an ungainly, nerdy doofus who's often decently-schooled but lacks any
trace of common sense, cool, co-ordination, guile or grace.
I ought to bloody sue, I really should.
...
- Where the fuck have you been for the last five months?
Long story. Partly my absence was due to Geoshities
suddenly deciding that it wouldn't accept my FTP transfers, making it almost
impossible for me to update the site. It's taken me damn near a full weekend to
get the site re-tooled and re-posted on my BT Openworld webspace, and I just
haven't had that sort of time to spare before now.
Sorry. I seriously intend to be a lot more focussed
about keeping the site up-to-date this time around.
...
- What are the other three in your Top 5 Worst Films Of All Time?
I'll get round to telling you sooner rather than
later. Honestly. Actually, it's going to have to be a Top 6 now, because when I
started the list I hadn't seen the recent remake of Rollerball.
Chris Klein's acting career makes baby Jesus cry.
(c) daniel roe, 2003/4
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